Adjusting Expectations

When I was writing my post last week I was thinking about expectations. My expectations of a situation largely determine my attitude about it's outcome.

Let me give you an example from when I worked in the financial industry. The business I worked for would hire mystery shoppers. If those shoppers gave you excellent reviews, you could earn a cash bonus. There was a service that my company provided that I was particularly talented at. I had streamlined my process for this service so that it was not only done well, but very efficiently and I also negotiated with our vendors to do their part quickly. This service usually took about 2 weeks on average to be completed, but I could complete it in a couple days, sometimes even the same day. So, I was surprised when, month after month, my reviews came back as good, but not excellent. And I would receive no bonus.

On one of the bonus days, my co-worker caught me watching him count his bonus cash. He came over to me and said, "You know why you aren't getting the bonus, right?" I shook my head. "You are setting their expectations too high. You tell them that the work will be done in a day or two. Then, when you finish in a day or two, they are satisfied, but not impressed. And if it takes you three days, you and I both know that is still really great, but they feel irritated it took so long because you set the expectation for it to be done sooner. Next time tell them that the industry standard for completion is two weeks and don't promise anything quicker.  That way, if you get it done sooner, they will be super impressed."

I was skeptical, but I tried it and my reviews sky-rocketed. I never missed a bonus again. The reason I mention this story is because I feel that my reaction to my UC could have been different if my expectations were different.

For example, Ulcerative Colitis wouldn't seem like such a big deal if everyone in the world had UC. It would just be expected--part of life. You wouldn't think your body was revolting against you or that you were cursed. It would just be the way things were, expected. Of course, life would probably be quite different if everyone had UC. There would be a bathroom on every corner!

The times I was the most frustrated and upset with my Ulcerative Colitis was when I wanted to accomplish something and wasn't able to because I was too sick. I wish I could have told myself to adjust my expectations. To not expect to be able to do everything I could when I wasn't sick. To cut myself a break and allow myself to take it easy. To be patient and to not expect so much. If I had lowered my expectations, I don't think I would have had so many disappointments.

With lower expectations for life, I think it would have been easier to be satisfied with the things I was able to do. And, if I was able to do more, even if it wasn't like "normal", I would still be exceeding expectations and that would be a reason to celebrate.

So, my suggestion for those of you with UC is to LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS. If you are sick, cut yourself a break. Be patient and easy on yourself.

But,

BUT,

Don't you ever quit. Don't you give up. Don't you stop dreaming. This moment is just that, a moment. What happens in one day does not determine who or what you will be. Dream big.

And on the days when you need a little help, listen to this song.
(Song starts at 27 seconds)


Dream Big

by Ryan Shupe and the Rubber Band.
When you cry be sure to dry your eyes
'Cause better days are sure to come
And when you smile be sure to smile wide
Don't let them know that they have won
And when you walk, walk with pride
Don't show the hurt inside
Because the pain will soon be gone

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

When you laugh be sure to laugh out loud
'Cause it will carry all your cares away
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself
And it'll help you feel okay
And when you pray, pray for strength
To help you carry on
When the troubles come your way

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

When you laugh be sure to laugh out loud
'Cause it will carry all your cares away
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself
And it'll help you feel okay
And when you pray, pray for strength
To help you carry on
When the troubles come your way

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

Today is a gift; that's why it is called the present

My apologies for not posting. Lately, if I ever get a spare moment, I try to catch up on some sleep. With a new baby, that's important! Thank you so, so, so much to those you have made comments on my blog. I do read them, and you buoy me up.

I am still in remission. As I said in my last post, this is the longest I have ever been in remission. So truly, every day is a gift. I am also not taking any of my medications still. At first, I was just going to take a break during my baby's first few months of life when he would be at greatest risk from an allergy to the medication. But, now it has been six months and I haven't had any UC symptoms, I think I will just stay off unless/until I need to get back on. I have a full prescription sitting in my cupboard just in case.

I've been wondering what it is, if anything, that has allowed me to be in remission this long. There seems to be so much mystery and so much individuality with this illness that it is hard to determine what is going on with it. I can say that I am living my life differently than I was in the past. Before, I had a serious sweet-tooth and I indulged in the sweets regularly. I didn't exercise regularly. And I guess you can say that in general I didn't make the best health choices. I wasn't horrible, but there was definately room for improvement.

Now, I eat a lot better. I still have my sweets, but in moderation. I exercise at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes, sometimes more.  For my birthday, my family and friends all pitched in and bought me this incredible Blendtec Blender.  It is so powerful that it is super easy to make smoothies.   So I make a fruit smoothie every other day and have even started including spinach to make it a little more healthy. 


But if I were to say the main health changes I have made that may have helped my UC, I would say it is from working to minimize stress, listening to my body, and getting enough sleep.  I have really, really worked on those things.  I try to keep things in perspective more and don't let myself get worked up over insignificant things (easier said than done, I know).  I have always been a night-owl that hates going to bed, but I have learned that not getting enough sleep really stresses the body and stress and UC...well, we know how that goes.  I have begun to be able to tell when I have pushed things to far.  If I start feeling tired, or the signs of a small cold, or a stomache, I take it easy now.  I give myself a chance to rest and recover, instead of just pushing through it.  It's hard to do that sometimes, but I just remind myself that doing too much could trigger a flare-up (maybe) and that taking a little bit of downtown now would be better than the months of recovery if I flare. 

Obviously, I'm not a doctor.  And I don't know why I've been feeling so great lately.  But, certainly efforts towards being healthy couldn't hurt!

I have more to write, but the baby's awake and this post is getting long, so hopefully I'll get a chance to write again soon. Best wishes to you all!