Today is a gift; that's why it is called the present

My apologies for not posting. Lately, if I ever get a spare moment, I try to catch up on some sleep. With a new baby, that's important! Thank you so, so, so much to those you have made comments on my blog. I do read them, and you buoy me up.

I am still in remission. As I said in my last post, this is the longest I have ever been in remission. So truly, every day is a gift. I am also not taking any of my medications still. At first, I was just going to take a break during my baby's first few months of life when he would be at greatest risk from an allergy to the medication. But, now it has been six months and I haven't had any UC symptoms, I think I will just stay off unless/until I need to get back on. I have a full prescription sitting in my cupboard just in case.

I've been wondering what it is, if anything, that has allowed me to be in remission this long. There seems to be so much mystery and so much individuality with this illness that it is hard to determine what is going on with it. I can say that I am living my life differently than I was in the past. Before, I had a serious sweet-tooth and I indulged in the sweets regularly. I didn't exercise regularly. And I guess you can say that in general I didn't make the best health choices. I wasn't horrible, but there was definately room for improvement.

Now, I eat a lot better. I still have my sweets, but in moderation. I exercise at least 3 times a week for 30 minutes, sometimes more.  For my birthday, my family and friends all pitched in and bought me this incredible Blendtec Blender.  It is so powerful that it is super easy to make smoothies.   So I make a fruit smoothie every other day and have even started including spinach to make it a little more healthy. 


But if I were to say the main health changes I have made that may have helped my UC, I would say it is from working to minimize stress, listening to my body, and getting enough sleep.  I have really, really worked on those things.  I try to keep things in perspective more and don't let myself get worked up over insignificant things (easier said than done, I know).  I have always been a night-owl that hates going to bed, but I have learned that not getting enough sleep really stresses the body and stress and UC...well, we know how that goes.  I have begun to be able to tell when I have pushed things to far.  If I start feeling tired, or the signs of a small cold, or a stomache, I take it easy now.  I give myself a chance to rest and recover, instead of just pushing through it.  It's hard to do that sometimes, but I just remind myself that doing too much could trigger a flare-up (maybe) and that taking a little bit of downtown now would be better than the months of recovery if I flare. 

Obviously, I'm not a doctor.  And I don't know why I've been feeling so great lately.  But, certainly efforts towards being healthy couldn't hurt!

I have more to write, but the baby's awake and this post is getting long, so hopefully I'll get a chance to write again soon. Best wishes to you all!

An Anniversary

I've been in remission for one year. It's hard to say exactly when the anniversary is because how can you tell when you are in remission for sure. But I know it was before Thanksgiving last year that I last had any UC symptoms.

This is the longest I have EVER gone without a flare-up since my first one approximately eight years ago.

I feel like I am holding my breath waiting for it to come back.

I haven't been on any medications since July. I hope that I will be able to celebrate being symptom and medication free for a whole year this summer.

Time is a funny thing. The same amount of time can seem interminably long or insanely short. Seconds pass by without any realization all the time, but can crawl by in serious situations. It is almost like time cannot be measured by any type of units, only by our experiences.

So. I have a year. It seems like such a long time ago since I was sick, and yet, not long enough to forget. Every single day, I pray and thank God that I am healthy and feeling well. Every single day.

Every Thanksgiving my family goes around the table and we each say one thing we are thankful for. A couple years ago, I was thankful for my medication that was helping my symptoms to ease.

Next week, I'll tell them I'm thankful for a year. A whole year in which I celebrated every holiday, every birthday, every wonderful regular moment pain free. And even if tomorrow I am sick again, I'll still have this year to remember.

This is a year to be thankful for indeed.

Happy Thanksgiving! May you all find your reasons to be grateful!

A Real Cause?

I don't watch very much television, but I have still seen many commercials like the one below.



When I went to YouTube to find one of these commercials to post here, I found dozens of similar commercials for the class action lawsuit against Accutane. All of these commercials clearly state that Accutane causes Ulcerative Colitis and Chrohn's Disease. Accutane has been recalled.

I never took Accutane (it's a medicine to treat severe acne). But I still find this very interesting because it is the first time I have ever heard anyone state a cause for Ulcerative Colitis. It's always just been a world of unknowns. Now I realize these commercials are lawyers saying that it is the cause, and not doctors, but I suspect that they must have a significant amount of evidence if they are going to take on the pharmaceutical company.

It just makes me wonder--was there a prescription I took that caused my UC?

Here's another one:

Better than a hole in the ground

I'm still around. Still in remission too. I've been reading blogs still, but haven't commented or written much because I usually have the baby in my arms and can't type. In fact I'm writing this now with one finger and it is frustratingly slow. My 3 year old starts preschool soon so I may get more time for my blog in a couple weeks.

Earlier this month, my father-in-law had his retina detach. I didn't know that could even happen. He underwent surgery and in just a few hours it was corrected, although the recovery time will be a few months.

This reminded me of my grandfather. He had an eye lens transplant last year to correct cataracts.

Isn't this an amazing age we live in? I am astounded that things so sensitive and delicate like an eye can be helped by modern medicine.

I thank God that I live in this time. Can you imagine having Ulcerative Colitis before there were toilets? Certainly, toilets are better than a hole in the ground.

I not only have the luxury of flushing toilets, but also medicine that helps me keep my UC under control.

And colonoscopies! Not that I am a big fan of those, but I am thankful they are around. I'm really grateful they were able to diagnose me, so that I wasn't just some crazy person with diarrhea.

If you want to know about some other advances related to UC, check out the free webinar that the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America is doing on October 6th by going here.

He's Here!

Baby D.

6/30/2010

19 inches

6 pounds 2 ounces

I haven't been online lately because I had my baby. I am exhausted, but doing well, still in remission. In fact, I am doing so much better with my recovery this time than I did with my first son and I believe the difference is because I was in a flare-up then and I am in remission this time.

After going through labor again, I still think that the pain I felt with my Ulcerative Colitis is worse than labor. Of course, I did get an epidural towards the end. Hmmm... do you think an epidural could be used for bad flare-ups?

In other UC news, I have stopped all of my medication. Thank you to everyone who weighed in with advice about continuing the medication while breastfeeding. For those of you who don't know, I have received conflicting advice from my doctors about whether it is safe to be on the medication while breastfeeding. Ultimately, since I was doing so well in remission anyway to just go ahead and stop and then if I start getting sick again, I could start up again. And hopefully if that happens, it will be after my baby is quite a bit older and the risk of allergic reaction is lower. I was on the medication when I breastfed my older son and he had no problems.

This isn't the first time I have stopped the medication. The last time I stopped, I went 11 blissful months with no symptoms. I am hoping to go even longer this time. I wonder if it might actually be beneficial to take a break from the medicine. I'm not a doctor or a scientist, but I wonder if it could make it so I don't build up an immunity to the medicine. I know with some UC cases, after a while the medicine just becomes ineffective. I don't know...what do you think?

Working with Ulcerative Colitis

I've quit my job.

It's an attempt to minimize the stress in my life.

My husband and I thought taking care of a toddler and a newborn would be enough for me to handle without workplace pressures. We're trying to keep my stress low to avoid a flare-up.

So I quit. Problem is now our finances are a lot tighter...which ironically is stressful. I'm trying not to think about it.

So instead, here are some memories of what it was like working during a period of time (we're talking several years) when I had a flare-up.

It would be nice to think if you were not feeling well that you could just call in sick. But when you don't feel well pretty much every day, sometimes you just have to go to work. My co-workers all knew I was sick, pretty much anyone that ever used the bathroom at my work knew I was sick. But my customers didn't.

In my job, I had my own office where I would meet with my customers. Unfortunately, sometimes I would really, really have to use the bathroom while I was meeting with them. I always gave them some excuse for why I had to leave. I would smile and say, "Oh, I need to go make some copies, please excuse me a moment." And then when I was two feet out the door, my smile would disappear and I would make a dash for the bathroom.

Sometimes when I got back, I would immediately feel that special feeling that tells you you just aren't quite done yet. "Whoops! I think I left one of the pages in the copy machine, I'll be right back!" Another sprint down the hall.

And if, later during our meeting, another urgent feeling would strike then, "My pen seems to be dying. I'm so sorry. Let me just run to our supply room." (This once back-fired on me when one of my clients once whipped out a pen. "Hee, hee...Gee, thanks...Did I say I needed a pen? I meant a...pencil..." If anything my Ulcerative Colitis kept my mental faculties sharp.)

Were my customers on to me? I don't know. How long does it take to make photo copies? (Especially long since not only did I have to use the bathroom but then I also had to make said photo copies). If anyone suspected anything, they kindly didn't say so.

I really don't like lying.

But I wonder how many of my clients would have preferred hearing, "I've got the runs. I know I just barely used the bathroom, but I've got to go again and if I don't go right now, you'll probably see it running down my legs in just a few seconds."

Later, my office was moved to a floor without a bathroom. How convenient. Using the bathroom, which I did probably 20 times a day, then involved running down a flight of stairs. Or should I say jumping down a flight of stairs.

Now that I've quit, I'm going to have to come up with a new exercise regiment.

Ignorance is not bliss

This past weekend my family and some of my extended family all drove a few hours away to go to the big zoo in our state. Now that I am just 8 weeks from my due date and getting quite big, I waddle everywhere. Even though I still have two months to go, I have already passed the size I was when my first son was born. I think the difference is I am not in a flare this time. I definately have a lot more energy this time around even though I am busy keeping up with a toddler.

The zoo trip was a lot of fun. By the end of the day, I was pretty stiff from having walked so much with the extra weight, but it hadn't effected the trip at all.

Being there brought back memories from my last trip to that zoo. It was several years ago in the B.C. period (before children).

That trip it was just my husband and I, escaping for the weekend for some couple time. It was miserable. I was miserable. I remember being at the zoo and visiting the bathroom more than the exhibits. I could only walk short distances before I would have to curl up with intense cramping. I would sit on the ground and wait for the pain to subside before going on. We didn't dare venture too far past the public restrooms. And even when we did go to look at things, I had so little energy my husband had to pull me along the walks. What was supposed to be a romantic weekend was. . . not. We took a few pictures on the trips and the forced smile on my face says everything. It was horrible. Thank goodness for a wonderful husband that has endured so much and still stayed by my side.

I will never be at the place mentally or physically again though. It doesn't matter if my UC flares up again, I will NEVER be in the place I was then because I have something I didn't have then--a diagnosis.

I was actually on medication when we went to the zoo all those years back. I was on sedatives. After seeing multiple doctors, they all had said that intense anxiety was the cause of my "stomache ailments". But, I never felt any better. No matter how many sedatives I took or how many hours I spent relaxing/meditating, trying to clear my life of stress, I never felt better. It wasn't until years later when I had my first colonoscopy (something I had unfortunately purposely avoided previously), was told I had UC, and received the proper medication that I felt better. And boy, did I ever feel better! It wan't over night, in fact it was months before I felt normal again (it has taken that long for each subsequent flare as well), but I could tell things were improving after just a few weeks.

But now I have knowledge. I know what it is that is wrong and what my options are to treat it. Knowledge really is power. So even if I have another bad flare up (still in remission!), it will never be as bad as it was then because I know now what is wrong. And I know I'm not crazy.

And in the words of G.I. Joe, "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle."