Monday, March 1, 2010

"Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway."

I haven't posted for a while because I've been...stressed. Really stressed. I've got problems at work, with finances, in my family, with friends, in my personal life...and I've been worrying a lot about a lot of other things too. The fact that I'm stressed and worried about things also worries me because I'm terrified it will trigger another flare.

I'm kind of good at worrying. It's a talent. I can see scenarios (negative ones) that others just couldn't fathom. It's not just recently either. My mom tells me that even in grade school I was always worried about something and would always have this scrunched up little face. It's part of my personality.

But, I've spent too many days with my life filled with worry. It's sucking the joy out of the rich blessings I have. So, I've been reading a book by Stephen R. Covey called How to Stop Worrying, and Start Living. I haven't finished it yet, but I've really enjoyed it so far.

He suggests some exercises to cope with worrying and I've been trying them and I do think they are helping, but I am going to need practice! Here is my own variation of some of his steps to take when you are worried.

1. Write down what you specifically are worried about. This might seem unnecessary, but I discovered that once I wrote it down, it seemed more manageable.

2. Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that could happen." Then, write down if that happened what the result would be.

3. Come to terms with the "worst thing" happening. How would your life change? What would happen? Write your answers down. A lot of things I was worrying about relate to my family's finances. When I asked what was the worst that could happen, I thought of our house being foreclosed on and having to declare bankruptcy. If that happened, we would probably rent a townhouse. The rent for even a really nice townhouse around here would be less than our house payment. When I thought about this, I discovered even though it wasn't the ideal, it would be alright. And if that happened, I would feel a lot more relaxed because more of our monthly income would be freed up for other things. (So, what was the point of worrying?)

4. (I added this step myself) Ask yourself, "What is the best thing that could happen." So many times I focus on the negative things, but it is just as likely that something good will happen as something bad. It can't hurt to be positive! Write your answers down.

Just those four steps sure have helped already. And so far, I haven't had any hint of any bowel issues. Since stress seems to be a trigger for a lot of us, I challenge you to try these steps for something you are worrying about and see if it helps you.

In other news:

We are having another boy!

Yeah! We are really excited, although I was certain I was having a girl this time. My husband says I jinxed myself.

Also, I am only taking Asacol right now and just found out you can't take that while breastfeeding. I'm torn. I really believe that breastfeeding is super important, but all of the doctors are saying to stay on the medicine and just bottle feed. This is one of the multiple things I have been stressing about. I am actually leaning towards ignoring the doctor's advice and getting completely off medications. A sacrifice for my child. Scary. If my UC flared and got bad enough, I would probably have to stop breastfeeding and get back on the meds. I'm hoping that if I can relax and reduce my worries and watch what I eat that I will be okay. Hard to do with a new infant. Still have about 4 months before the decision has to be made.

In closing, this song was running through my head the whole time I was writing this post probably because of the line about worrying being like trying to solve an algebra problem by chewing bubble gum. Remember to wear sunscreen.


  1. Thanks for posting those exercises! #4 is really important to remember!

  2. yep, that's UC's common factor and our main problem...we all worry...and somehow we manage to blow those problems up into things that others haven't even thought about...and won't ever think about...cause it won't happen...and yep, I want to stop worrying too...but I just don't know how to switch it latest worry is about something that hasn't happened yet...another UV I'm going to try :D

  3. Thanks for the tips, I NEED them! Also I have heard that UC can ease up and sometimes go into remission due to brestfeeding something with the hormones. Gotta love google research. Take care!

  4. Congrats on the baby boy! On what Candice said above, I have also read that breastfeeding helps reduce UC symtpoms, though a MDs advice is better than anything else!Ultimately, it's your call.

    If you DO decide to pass on the meds, let us know how it works out for you. I'd be really interested to know how it turns out!

  5. You sound just like me in regards to the worrying. I too did that as a kid. In fact, I probably had a pretty bad anxiety problem back then and up to my early 20s. Anyway...the book sounds interesting. Glad it's helping.

    Congrats on the boy! I know breastfeeding is a great option, but maybe there is something to be said about staying on the meds if they are working for you. Just imagine what would happen if you did flare, then you'd have less energy to put into parenting all together. Still, you never know. Maybe getting rid of the worry and trying other methods will do just fine.

    Good luck and congrats again.

  6. Hi. Just found your blog. I'm a mom, wife, and newly diagnosed with UC I just stopped breastfeeding my twins. They finally self weaned at 2 years, 9 months. I have been on Asacol for almost a year and my GI said it was okay while BF. Just thought I'd share. Now, on to read more of your blog. Boy am I relieved to realize I'm not the only one trying to figure this all out!