Saturday, January 23, 2010

If wishes were fishes, we'd all have a fry.

The other day while I was playing cars with my son, my mind started wandering. Something it often does when we play cars since we only play that about a million times a day.

And a question came to my mind.

If you could wish for something that would change your life, what would you wish for?

And I thought, "Easy. I'd wish I didn't have Ulcerative Colitis."

And a moment passed.

And then I started wondering if that is what I'd really wish for. After all, I am in remission right now. Right now, besides the 10 pills I take each day, the illness has little impact on my life and as I wrote in my last post I don't really remember the pain.

Now if you had asked me during some of those flares what I would have wished for, no doubt I would have said to get rid of the UC. But now having had the experience that it is a problem that can be managed and dealt with, would I really waste a wish on it? I know that my experience is not the same as others with the illness and that for many their UC is a million times worse. My heart goes out to them since I have only had a taste of the pain and misery they experience.

But for me, I wondered if having UC was really all that bad. I mean if you HAD to have an illness, was it so bad? I don't know. I know that I at least have full use of my mind and I most likely am not going to die from it. There are periods of pain and seclusion, but also moments of real life. Sure, it's an embarrassing illness, but it keeps me humble, right? For all I know, if I didn't have UC my head would be so big I'd be floating.

So if I didn't wish away the UC, what would I wish for? Well, I'd wish to be happy or healthy. But those things are relative. I mean you could argue that I already am happy and healthy, even during flare ups.

Then, I'd wish my mother didn't have breast cancer and didn't have to have a masectomy. But then again, she's had such personal growth and has gained such wisdom from that experience. Would I deprive her of that for my own selfishness? I'd wish my father didn't have heart disease and hadn't had a heart attack. But since his heart attack he has cut back on work, spent more time with family, started eating better and exercising. If it wasn't for the heart attack, would these positive changes have happened?

I'd wish to be financially secure or for my house to be paid off. But honestly, if my house was paid off, I'd probably just go get a bigger house and as for the financial security--I can pay my bills, I have enough to eat and a safe home--isn't that financial security?

I'd wish my grandfather hadn't died. But, my grandmother remarried a wonderful man, whom she loves. I'm not willing to say one marriage was better than the other.

I could wish for world peace, but what does that even mean? Do I want to live in a world where there are no struggles? If anything I have learned that we are made better in the refiners fire. Our trials can lead to our greatest strengths.

Would I risk wishing something away, thinking I'd be better without, when in reality it could have been my greatest blessing? A lost job could lead to a better job. A broken relationship could open the doors for a soul mate. Things are not always as they appear.

And then suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted because my son apparently noticed I wasn't moving my matchbox car.

So my final thought is that wishes are hard left for the professionals in fairy tales. I don't need any wishes, my life is perfect just the way it is. Especially with it's imperfections.


  1. Getting the IBD dx was the best thing that ever happened to me because it changed who I was, made me so much more aware of all the good that life has brought me. Saved my life in more than one way, suffer with it, of course but you're so right on with this post. Thanks for writing it :)

  2. Wow, beautiful post. Thanks for sharing. I'm glad your in remission too! yayness for that. I just with it didnt take so many pills, i always manage to forget to take them... :/

  3. I completely understand about not wasting your wish on getting rid of UC. Although I'd like to go in remission, having UC has had a lot of positive affects on my life as well. I am now VERY health conscious of the food that I eat and only eat natural foods, which in turn helped me lose over 70 pounds. I would rather 'deal' with UC for the rest of my life, than go back to the unhealthy person I was.
    Thank you for such an insightful post!

  4. see, isn't it funny how we think now and would would we really wish like be careful what you wish for as it might come true...and you might not want it. I think of myself as very lucky only to have what I have...and yep, when it's bad I wish it would go away, but at other times of remission, I'm just another "normal" (what ever that is) person :D

  5. Hit the nail on the head! UC is simply awful during flare-ups, but once you learn to live with the disease, staying in remission isn't all that hard, so long as you remember to take your meds. Great post!

  6. HI

    I found your post really interesting.I had UC for 13 years and have recently had surgery. You can read about that experience at

    Hope we all live to be 100